Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
