did you get engaged???
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
