Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
people are starting to question the shark bite story
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
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