lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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