community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
Why is your signature on my underwear?
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
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