I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
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