Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Randomize
