Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
Randomize
