I just woke up to a lawnchair covered in lipstick. I'm wearing red lipstick. What happened and is the tequila?
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
