You were right. It hurts to walk today.
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
Randomize
