I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
