the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
