If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
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