How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
Randomize
