Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
Randomize
