I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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