Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
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