whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Randomize
