omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Randomize
