I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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