Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Randomize
