Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Randomize
