oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
it glows. i had to have it.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
Randomize
