I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
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