i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
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