i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
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