Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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