Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
Randomize
