Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize
