drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
I am never drinking with the goths again.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
