He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
Randomize
