Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
She's not a foreskin expert like you
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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