She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
He better not be in your backpack
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
