dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
