epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Randomize
