I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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