don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
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