I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Randomize
