i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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