So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize
