porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
We named our party play list daddy issues
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
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