You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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