You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
