i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
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