Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Randomize
