I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
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