I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
Randomize
