What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
Randomize
