i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Randomize
