i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
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