I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
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