3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
be right there i have to get my cape
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
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